Set the Twilight Reeling
by writer-who-must-not-be-named
Summary: "And who you accept...in your soul and your head,  What was misunderstood...what was thought of with dread,  A new self is born...the other self dead,  I accept the new found man and set the twilight reeling."  Pairings: BL/LV, BL/RL
1. Hallelujah

_This is my first (and probably last) venture into the world of M-rated (and un beta-ed) fanfiction._

_Warning: Dark themes, torture, non-graphic rape and a smattering of blackcest._

_The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the title song to Lou Reed._

_Chapter 1: Hallelujah_

"_I did my best, it wasn't much  
>I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch<br>I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you  
>And even though it all went wrong<br>I'll stand before the Lord of Song  
>With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah"<br>Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen_

Bellatrix gazed into the fire. How could Rodolphus have left her? His words had hurt more than he knew; did he really think Voldemort loved her, or that she loved him? He was the master, she was the servant. She had finally learnt that he would never have feelings for her, hadn't he? He would use her, she was his, but he would never love her.

She looked up with a start; the Dark Lord was entering the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He turned the key in the lock and she flinched. Did he know that she was alone, that Rodolphus had left her?

As he walked across the room she slid from the chair to kneel before him. She looked up in confusion as he stopped before her, why was he here?

He looked down at her. Finally she had been abandoned by Rodolphus, she was his.

"Are you scared, Bella?" He spoke softly, pacing around her.

"No, my lord." She whispered.

He reached out a long white finger and stroked her neck, she shuddered.

"Such lies," he breathed, "Crucio."

He watched with pleasure as she fell forwards on to the floor. Surprisingly, she didn't make a sound. He wanted her to scream, he wanted to hurt her. Finally, he lifted the curse and looked down at her. She looked up, her eyes filling with tears.

He was filled with anger, she was so sickeningly pure, her blood giving her a status he could never have. She must never know that.

With a sudden flick of his wand, she was flung across the room. She hit the wall with a crack and gasped at the pain.

The Dark Lord looked down at her cowering on the floor. Now that Rodolphus was gone, he could do whatever he wanted. He needed to show her that she was the servant, he was the master. He could do what he wanted to her and she would take it, because Rodolphus wasn't there anymore.

"I will never love you, Bella. I could kill you now and nobody would care. You are mine. I can do what I want and there's no-one to hear you scream..."

She tried to deny his words. Rodolphus still cared, but she remembered how he had left her.

"That's right, Bella. There's no-one here but you and me..."

"Sectumsempra." He brought his wand down again and again, each stroke cutting a deep gash in her pale skin. She cried. Now that Rodolphus had left, there seemed no point to carrying on. Would the Dark Lord even leave her alive?

"Bella, you know how much I love to hear you scream." He bore down on her, tearing her dress. Now she was glad that Rodolphus had left, that he couldn't see what the Dark Lord was doing to her.

"Please," she whispered, "don't..."

"You will have to speak up, Bella, I can't hear you."

She screamed finally as he entered her, tears running down her face as she was pinned to the floor underneath him. Would he ever leave? Would he kill her, or would the punishment continue forever?

Many hours later, when she had long stopped screaming, the Dark Lord disapparated leaving her lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood; spreading from her prostrate form, soaking into her hair and seeping between the cracks in the flagstones.

_Author's note: Thanks to my friend for daring me to step out of my comfort zone and write this and to Evelyn of the Witch Hunt for the plot discussion. (And also for changing my mind about Rodolphus)_

_Please R&R as I'm very unsure about this whole venture. Feel free to point out any mistakes (but please be nice) and if you have read this far just take a moment to review and say what you like/didn't like._

_Sorry, my author's notes aren't normally this long._

_x_


	2. I ride in your slipstream

_Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters..._

_Chapter 2: I ride in your slipstream_

"_I wear your reflection,_

_I echo your heartbeat in the wind._

_You might say we're lovers,_

_You might say we're strangers._

_You think you don't know me,_

_But you're wearing my ring."_

_I ride in your slipstream – Richard Thompson_

Rodolphus approached the Lestrange manor with a feeling of trepidation. He had vowed never to return, leaving his wife to do whatever she wanted. However something was wrong. He had not seen Bellatrix at Death Eater meetings; the Dark Lord had not even mentioned her. Was she dead? Had the Dark Lord killed her? It would be his fault, he should never have left. But the Dark Lord would never have killed her, would he? He loved her as much as he was capable of. He used her, he slept with her. She was completely devoted to him; she would do anything for him.

He, Rodolphus, loved Bellatrix; he always had and always would. However, shortly after they joined the Death Eaters she had begun spending the evenings with the Dark Lord. She had grown distant and secretive, eventually he couldn't take it anymore, and he had had to leave.

He opened the great door of the house and called out,

"Bella, where are you?"

He crossed the entrance hall to the drawing room. The door was locked. He whispered an incantation and it swung open. The room was dark, the heavy curtains were drawn. The only light came from the burning embers of the fire.

He could see something lying in a heap in the corner of the room. He stepped towards it, lighting the candles lining the walls with a flick of his wand.

He was almost sick. The form in the corner was his wife. She was lying against the wall. Her dress was torn down the centre and her exposed body was covered with bruises and gashes.

There was blood everywhere, thick and dark, all over the floor and Bellatrix. Soaking into her hair and dress and congealed around her wounds.

Was she dead? A wave of anger passed over him. He wanted to kill the Dark Lord, why had he done this to her? How could he have faced Bellatrix's husband and family at Death Eater meetings knowing that she was dying because of what he had done to her? How could he, her husband, have left her to the mercies of a man who clearly had no heart?

Her eyelids flickered and a trickle of blood seeped from her mouth. She was alive. He picked her up carefully. She felt like nothing in his arms. He carried her upstairs and into their bedroom. He placed her on the bed and knelt beside her.

Her underwear was soaked with blood. Parting her legs slightly he saw with disgust what the Dark Lord had done to her. He was sickened by the sight of his wife, normally so strong, broken like this by a man she was completely devoted to.

He began to whisper healing incantations, watching the gashes close and the bruises fade. He crosses to the wardrobe and chose a simple black dress for her. Discarding her torn clothing he dressed her carefully.

It was now late at night. Knowing he couldn't do much for her, Rodolphus lay down next to her, holding her to him. He would never leave her again.

_Author's note: This was really hard for me to write, it actually made me cry whilst writing, which I've never done before._

_Thanks go to InsanityRunsInMyBlood, Amazon Star and EmmelineSpark for their reviews and to everyone else who has read this story. I didn't think anyone would read it so I am really surprised._

_Also, thanks to my friend (who wishes to be referred to as Phyllis) who has helped me so much this week: this whole fic is your fault!_

_She also tells me that this isn't M-rated enough, so the next chapter will be worse..._

_I've gone and written another huge author's note, sorry!_

_x_


	3. Riptide

_Warning: contains non-graphic rape, blackcest and general moral ambiguity..._

_Chapter 3: Riptide_

"_She's out of her mind_

_Like the wind in a storm_

_Like the ocean at dawn as it disappears,_

_With the riptide_

_She's out of her mind_

_She's pulled away by the moon_

_She's ripped from her sleep."_

_Riptide – Lou Reed_

Bellatrix was nestled next to him in the bed, unconscious. She was safe now, at least for the time being.

Rodolphus closed his eyes, but as soon as he fell asleep, he was engulfed by the black tide of Bella's memories, filling his mind.

A young girl with black curly hair, wearing a white lacy dress was sitting on a huge bed. He could barely see her in the dim light of the room. There was a knock at the door and the child turned round, her brown eyes widening in fear.

The door opened and the huge figure of Cygnus Black, Bella's father, entered. He closed the door quietly behind him.

He crossed the room to the bed as Bellatrix shrank back in fear.

"Please, father, no."

"Come now, Bella darling. There's no need for that. I's just me and you, there's no-one listening."

Rodolphus watched in horror as Cygnus climbed on to the bed, shoving Bella down on the dark covers and pushing her skirt back, spreading her legs and bearing down on her.

Rodolphus looked away; he couldn't watch this; Bellatrix being violated by her own father. He sank down in the corner of the room, burying his head in his hands as he listened to Bellatrix's whimpers.

He hated himself for being there, intruding on his wife's darkest memories. He hated himself for cowering in the corner, but most of all he hated himself because he had never known. In all the years he had been married to Bellatrix, he hadn't known that her own father had...

He was distracted from his thoughts as Bella screamed. Her father rose from the bed, stroking her cheek and kissing her roughly.

"Don't scream, my Bella, or I will kill you." His voice was soft, but with a menacing edge.

She was left alone on the bed. She was sobbing quietly, bears running down her face. Blood dripped from between her legs, soaking the white lace of her dress.

Rodolphus wanted to comfort her, to reassure her in some way, but he couldn't. This was a memory, she couldn't see him.

The black fog descended again. When it lifted, Rodolphus was in the drawing room of the Black family manor.

Cygnus lay bound on the floor with the Dark Lord standing over him, Bellatrix, now much older, was sitting at the long table in the centre of the room. She was on the edge of her seat, her hands twisting nervously in her lap, watching her father with a combination of curiosity and pity.

"Crucio." the Dark Lord spoke and her father writhed on the floor in pain.

Rodolphus saw Bellatrix grimace, however the Dark Lord didn't notice.

"You will pay for what you have done to your daughter," he hissed, "with your life. She is mine now, and I protect my followers."

Bellatrix was looking at the Dark Lord with worshipful fascination, as if she didn't believe what was happening.

"Bellatrix, what is the meaning of this?" her father croaked.

Bellatrix stood up and held out her left forearm, which bore the Dark Mark. "He will protect me." She said simply.

"You don't know what he's capable of..."

"Avada Kedavra." A flash of green light and Cygnus Black was dead.

Bellatrix slumped in the chair, exhausted.

Rodolphus smiled. Now that her father was dead she was safe, wasn't she?

The Dark Lord walked slowly towards Bellatrix, he ran a finger across the Dark Mark on her forearm.

"As I said, Bellatrix, now you are mine."

The Dark Lord pushed her back onto the table, unlacing her dress. Bellatrix gasped and Rodolphus saw her hands clutch the table as her master took her.

Rodolphus couldn't watch any more. The Dark Lord had killed Bellatrix's father, pretending to protect her, letting her trust him, only to hurt her in this way...

Rodolphus awoke to find Bellatrix cowering close to him in the bed, screaming. She had been reliving the same memories. He gently shook her awake and held her close as she wept.

_Author's note: This chapter was really hard for me to write, I've been through endless drafts and I'm still not really happy with it, so I would be really grateful for any feedback, what you liked/didn't like (please be nice, as this is all very new to me!)_

_Thanks so much to everyone who has read this, especially those of you who have added it to your alerts or favourites and people who have reviewed; it really means a lot to me._

_x_


	4. Try not to breathe

_Chapter 4: Try not to breathe_

"_I will try not to burden you  
>I can hold these inside. I will hold my breath<br>Until all these shivers subside,  
>Just look in my eyes.<br>I will try not to worry you,  
>I have seen things that you will never see,<br>Leave it to memory me."_

_REM – Try not to breathe_

Eventually Rodolphus fell asleep, but Bellatrix lay awake. She couldn't close here eyes; if she did then her past would come back. She didn't want Rodolphus to see her thoughts again.

She hated the way he had looked at her. Pityingly. She didn't need his pity. He had left her to the mercy of the Dark Lord hadn't he? But he had come back...

Rodolphus awoke and looked across to his wife. How could the Dark Lord have done that to her? Bellatrix, once so strong, was now broken, because of him. Did he realise what he had done to her?

Bellatrix gasped as the Dark Mark burnt on her arm. She sat up. If the Dark Lord was calling her, then she had to go, didn't she? The Dark Lord needed her; she was his most loyal servant.

She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. She took a few hesitant steps towards the door before collapsing on the floor.

Rodolphus rushed to help her, but she pushed him away.

"The Dark Lord called me." She whispered and disapparated.

Rodolphus sighed, burying his head in his hands. After all he had done to her, why did she have to go back?

Bellatrix apparated before the Dark Lord still collapsed on the floor. She breathed heavily for a moment, the room spinning around her as she fought to stay conscious in her weakened state.

"My Lord." She murmured.

The Dark Lord bent down towards her. She gasped as he seized a handful of her hair, pulling her up until her face nearly touched his.

"Bellatrix, you must learn to keep your memories to yourself, and not run crying to Rodolphus, mustn't you?"

"My Lord, I didn't show him, I was unconscious, he looked inside my mind."

Voldemort looked down at her with contempt. His most loyal servant? She was weak, just like the rest of them.

He let her go and she dropped to the floor. She stayed there, was it because she was afraid, or did she have no strength left?

He wanted to test her, play with her. See how far he could push and twist her mind before she snapped. Even now she looked at him with devotion. After all he had done to her. That was something her stupid husband would never understand.

"Crucio."

She didn't move, although pain wracked her body, she didn't have the strength to scream.

He lifted the curse. "Stand." He commanded

Although her bones felt like lead she obeyed him.

"Just as I said all those years ago, you are mine."

He pushed her backwards onto the floor, the torture continued for many hours until she lay motionless on the floor at his feet, drifting in and out of consciousness. She looked up at him, vulnerable as a child, the child she had once been. He saw the fear in her eyes as she finally screamed, long and drawn out.

He flung her across the room with a flick of his wand. Satisfied, he turned and disapparated.

She appeared at the door of the bedroom moments later. Rodolphus ran to catch her as she collapsed. He cradled her in his arms, surveying her injuries.

"How can you let him do this to you? I's over now, I won't let you get hurt again."

She was unconscious as he held her to him and disapparated.

_Author's note: Thanks so much to all of you for reading this; your reviews make my day!_

_I finished writing this chapter very late last night, so it might not be very good, I'm not entirely happy with it, so please feel free to criticise/fangirl over it..._

_I will try to update regularly, but I have exams this month, so I need to revise T_T_

_Another long author's note, sorry!_


	5. If

_Chapter 5: If..._

"_If I had the time, I'd stop the world and make you mine,  
>And everyday would stay the same with you.<br>Give you back the dream,_

_And show you now what might have been,_

_If all the tears you cry would fade away._

_I'll be by your side, when they come to say  
>Goodbye, we will live to fight another day."<em>

_Noel Gallagher – If I had a Gun_

They apparated to a clearing in a dark forest. Rodolphus bent over his wife, healing her injuries. He was still breathing heavily, his anger at the Dark Lord burning through him.

Bellatrix slowly opened her eyes.

"Rodolphus, where are we? Where's the Dark Lord?" She tried to sit up, but fell back down, gasping with pain.

"Bella, I had to get you out of there, he would have killed you. Look at yourself, you're nearly dead already."

"Why? You weren't trying to protect me, this is all about you. You want to be with me, but you haven't saved us, because the Dark Lord will find us. You shouldn't have brought me here. You should have left me." She looked down in despair.

"I could never have left you, Bella. I love you. I can't stand by and let you get hurt anymore."

"I love you too. I wish I could stay here with you forever. But things change, Rodolphus. The Dark Lord will find us, because... I'm carrying his child."

"No..." Rodolphus held his wife, crying, "Oh Bella, I can't believe he's done that to you."

Rodolphus looked shocked, upset. She wished she could feel like that. But it was all so inevitable. The Dark Lord would find them and they would die. She touched her stomach where his child was already growing inside her. The Dark Lord would kill it, he would kill them all.

If only she could stop time. She wished she could stay forever with Rodolphus in the forest.

She looked down, catching sight of the Dark Mark, burned into the flesh of her arm. It connected her to the past, to the Dark Lord. She was foolish to hope she could escape from that.

The two figures held each other in the clearing, perhaps for the last time. Both wishing they could stop time, stay there forever... Both knowing that the Dark Lord would come for them, and that then they would die.

_Author's note: Well, this chapter just fills you with fluffy warmth, doesn't it?_

_I'm sorry it's so short, but I've been really busy with school T_T_

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far and everyone who reads it as well. I would really appreciate feedback, even if it's just a few words telling me what you did or didn't like..._

_x_


	6. Goodbye

_Chapter 6: Goodbye_

"_Nothing lasts forever._

_I don't want to live,_

_And see the teardrops, in your eyes._

_I don't want to live,_

_And see the day we say goodbye."_

_Goodbye – Hootie and the Blowfish_

Eventually darkness fell in the clearing, as the night drew in around them, they saw a figure approaching, emerging from the trees. Rodolphus stood up, and gasped,

"Rabastan, what are you doing here?"

Rodolphus' brother stepped in to the clearing, and came towards them.

"Rodolphus, the Dark Lord has ordered me to bring you and your wife back to him."

Bellatrix stood up, gripping Rodolphus' arm for support.

"Rodolphus, I knew this would happen." He looked down at her, holding her close. He could see the fear in her eyes.

"Rabastan, please..."

"You think that will work? You've always had your own way, your beautiful wife, you're successful, and you're clever. You think you can just say please and I'll do exactly what you say, just like everyone else? Well, you've disobeyed the Dark Lord and your wife is a filthy slut. You've failed him, and he's going to kill you and your wife and it will all be your fault. Now you're nothing, and I don't have to do what you say any more."

"Don't say that." Bellatrix spoke, "Rodolphus, please, this is all my fault. You were only trying to protect me. You wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for me. Rabastan, you can take me back, but please, leave Rodolphus. He hasn't done anything. His only crime was to love me."

Rabastan slapped Bellatrix across the face and she fell to the ground, her lip bleeding. Rodolphus ran towards his brother, drawing his wand, but Rabastan was faster and sent his brother flying, he hit the ground by Bellatrix.

"You see what you've become now, Rodolphus? Your wife is having to beg me to spare your life, but it's not my choice. I have to take you both back."

Rodolphus turned to Bellatrix,

"I'm coming back with you. I will do my best to protect you, whatever it takes. This is my fault. I won't stand by and let the Dark Lord hurt you anymore. I won't leave you. I couldn't save myself and abandon you."

"I love you, Rodolphus." She reached out her hand to him.

"I love you too." He took her hand and they disapparated with Rabastan, back in to the crushing darkness.

Together, facing the unknown, or perhaps the inevitable...

_Author's note: I cried while writing this chapter, although I still don't think I've done my ideas justice, so I apologise... - actually, I've rewritten this chapter now, thanks to feedback from EmmelineSpark, so I'm a bit happier with it..._

_Thanks so much to all of you who have read this and especially to everyone who reviewed. Reviews really do mean a lot to me, so if you could just drop me a few words saying what you liked/ didn't like, then I would be really grateful!_

_I'm super busy studying for my stupid Muggle exams, but the next chapter will be posted as soon as I can._

_x_


	7. Grace

_Warning: rape and general moral ambiguity._

_Chapter 7: Grace_

"_There's the moon asking to stay_

_Long enough for the clouds to fly me away_

_Well it's my time coming, I'm not afraid to die_

_My fading voice sings of love,_

_But she cries to the clicking if time,_

_Oh, time. Wait in the fire..."_

_Grace – Jeff Buckley_

They apparated in to a darkened room, with a long table in the centre.

"Goodbye, Rodolphus." Rabastan spat at his brother's feet before leaving them alone.

"Rodolphus, don't let him find out about the baby, don't tell him." Her voice was frantic. He nodded helplessly,

"I won't."

Bellatrix turned round in fear as the Dark Lord entered the room; she had never seen him look so angry.

With a wave of his wand, Rodolphus was thrown backwards, away from his wife. The Dark Lord seized Bellatrix's waist, bringing her close to him. He pulled back her left sleeve and stroked a white finger over her Dark Mark; she shivered with pain as it burned her skin.

"How did you think you would ever escape me? You are mine. You have always been mine."

He turned to her husband,

"Rodolphus, your wife is loyal to me, and me alone. You were foolish to think you could take her away. Are you not my servant? Haven't you taken my mark?"

"Yes, my lord."

"Lies," the Dark Lord hissed, "you are not loyal to me, you disagree with me, and the way I treat your wife, do you not?"

He didn't know what to say. He looked at Bellatrix, who shook her head almost imperceptibly.

"Answer me, Rodolphus."

He took a deep breath,

"I do disagree with what you are doing. Can't you see? She put her faith in you. She trusted you. You killed her father, and you hurt her when she needed you most."

The Dark Lord turned to his wife,

"Bellatrix, I swore you to secrecy, but you told him?" He struck her across the face and she fell to the ground.

"She didn't tell me, I saw it in her thoughts, please don't hurt her." Rodolphus begged.

Bellatrix, lying on the floor, was gazing adoringly at Rodolphus. The Dark Lord hated it, seeing the way she loved her husband. With a flick of his wand, he bound Rodolphus to a chair.

"Crucio." Bellatrix writhed on the floor, her agony evident on her face. Rodolphus was struggling against his bonds, his eyes fixed on his wife.

The Dark Lord lifted the curse,

"Get up, Bellatrix."

With difficulty she obeyed him. He could see how it pained Rodolphus to still see his wife do as he said.

Bellatrix stood before him, her lip bloody, her hair coming down, still bruised across her exposed neck from the last time he had hurt her. Yet she still looked up at him with child-like devotion. He was filled with rage. He wanted to tear her, to break her, to hear her scream. She had been disloyal. She deserved to be punished.

He shoved her back on to the table, tearing her dress and corset. He saw her look across to Rodolphus and then quickly away, as if ashamed.

He spread her legs apart as she moaned,

"No, please..."

She screamed as he thrust into her, felling herself tear as he hurt her. She screamed for the pain, but also for Rodolphus. What must he think? She couldn't bear to look at him, to see his face as he watched this.

Rodolphus tried to turn away, but couldn't because he was bound so tightly to the chair. He was forced to watch as the Dark Lord...

She was screaming, but he saw her involuntarily curve towards her master, arching her back into him.

He was almost sick; he couldn't bear to watch. It had to stop.

Eventually, Bellatrix's screams faded, Rodolphus was stiff and aching from being tied to the chair and his face was wet with tears.

"Please, leave her. You can kill me, just don't hurt her again."

Bellatrix looked at him from the table, her voice was gone, and she couldn't speak any more. Why was Rodolphus doing this to try and save her? Did she really mean that much to him?

_Author's note: I'm still not happy with this chapter, as I'm very new to M-rating, so please feel free to review and tell me what you did/ didn't like (please be nice!)_

_Also, thanks to Phyllis for the encouragement with this chapter, and the constant prompts that it wasn't M-rated enough. I've probably still disappointed you, but hey..._

_My muggle exams are over now, so the next chapter should be up soon..._

_Thanks to you all for reading!_

_x_


	8. Ruins

_Chapter 8: Ruins_

"_Now don't wake me up again_

_Don't let me feel anything,_

_But when you go_

_Let me dream that I go with you,_

_So I won't cry myself dry anymore."_

_Mother's Ruin – Kirsty MacColl_

"You're willing to sacrifice yourself to save _her_?" his tone was mocking.

"I am." Said Rodolphus simply. This was the only way, he loved his wife. The only way to save her and the baby was to allow the Dark Lord to kill him. The Bellatrix wouldn't be in danger any more, would she?

Bellatrix lay sobbing on the table, her clothes were ripped and her exposed skin covered with bruises and blood.

He wished he could comfort her, heal her, take her away. But that hadn't worked. The Dark Lord would have to believe he had complete control over her, only then would he keep her alive.

She looked up and met Rodolphus' gaze. He was the one who loved her. She had trusted the wrong person. If she hadn't chosen the Dark Lord they could have been happy together. It was all her fault.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered.

Rodolphus smiled, a single tear fell from the corner of his eye.

"Avada Kedavra." The Dark Lord spoke, there was a flash of green light and Rodolphus was dead.

Her master walked slowly to where she lay on the table, he stroked her neck and whispered in her ear,

"Now you belong completely to me. Your mind, your body, your soul."

He disapparated, leaving her more alone than ever.

Rodolphus wasn't there for her any more. He had always healed her wounds, made her feel better, even though it was her fault. Now he lay dead because of her.

She rose with difficulty and crossed the room to where Rodolphus' body lay; she knelt down beside him and laid his head across her lap. She was alone now, the Dark Lord owned her, there was no-one left to protect her.

She couldn't let him win. She wanted to die, only then would she meet Rodolphus again and not let the Dark Lord have her. By staying alive, she was letting the Dark Lord win.

She sat in the semi-darkness watching the moonlight play on her exposed arms and Rodolphus' face.

The baby moved inside her and she gasped.

She did have a reason to live; the child was still alive, living inside her. She couldn't die. She would have to obey the Dark Lord, let him think he had won. But he hadn't, he still didn't know about the baby.

_Author's note: sorry about the rubbishness of this chapter, it seems to have been taken over by plot points... I promise the next will be better!_

_Thank you to everyone who reads this, and especially my lovely reviewers, it really does mean a lot to me..._

_x_


	9. No Victims

_Just to let you know, the events of this chapter occur the night before the Battle of Hogwarts._

_Chapter 9: No Victims_

"_I'm no victim to pity and cry for  
>And you're not someone I'd lay down and die for<em>

_I was seeing the world through your eyes  
>There was not much left not to despise<br>It's a shame but it's true  
>I started to feel things like you do"<em>

_No Victims – Kirsty MacColl_

Although it was dark, she couldn't sleep, she was alone in the bedroom she had shared with Rodolphus, she missed him more than she had ever thought possible.

She moved to the window, looking out on to the garden, bathed in moonlight, where she and Rodolphus had first met.

It had been at one of the Lestrange family parties. Her father had been determined for her to marry Rodolphus even then. She had desperately wanted to hate him, for him to be cruel or unkind, to give her a reason to despise him. But he had been so kind, even then, he had truly cared about her.

But he had always known that she didn't really love him, that she belonged to the Dark Lord, but that had never stopped him caring. He had loved her anyway, although it must have hurt him so much to see her with the Dark Lord.

She had never told him how she felt, and now it was too late. He was dead because of her, and the Dark Lord, the man she thought she had loved.

She gasped as the baby moved in her stomach. She had to be strong, for the baby, for Rodolphus.

"Don't you want to sleep, Bellatrix?" it was the Dark Lord.

She turned round in fear,

"No, my lord, I was just thinking." She stammered.

"About what?" he demanded.

She took a deep breath; he couldn't find out about the baby, she would do whatever it took to make sure the baby survived.

"You, my Lord." The lie came easily. She looked at the ground, hoping he would mistake her blush and quickening pulse for lust, not fear.

"Do you want me, Bellatrix?" he whispered, running a finger from her jaw line to her breast.

"Yes master." She must do what he wanted, although it repulsed her. He mustn't find out.

He would his hand into her dark hair and pulled her head back to face him, bringing tears to her eyes.

"Say it, Bellatrix. You know how I love to hear you beg for me."

She was glad that Rodolphus couldn't see her now.

"I want you, my lord, I need you." She whispered, her face an inch from his, fighting to keep her mind blank, he couldn't find out.

He pushed her back on to the bed, pressing her down beneath him and tearing her dress.

She shuddered; he was doing this in her own bedroom, on the bed she had shared with Rodolphus.

"I reward my followers, Bellatrix."

"Yes, master, thank you."

He may have thought he was rewarding her, but he was still merciless; she was exhausted and shivering when he finally left hours later.

"You are welcome, Bella. Be prepared for the battle." With that he disapparated.

As soon as he was gone she could weep freely. She lay shivering in the moonlight, tears streaming down her face and exposed body. She cried for Rodolphus, for herself, but most of all for the baby inside her. She didn't want it to be born into the world it would face.

She wished there could be someone to reassure her, to tell her that everything would be alright, but there was no-one left.

She watched the sun rise on a new day, the day of the battle when she would have to fight for her life and the life of her child. She knew she would have to reassure herself, be strong and fight. Not for the cause, she didn't care about that anymore, but for the child.

_Author's note: This chapter turned out very strangely, and completely not what I had planned, but thanks go to Phyllis for encouraging me to go with it anyway..._

_Thanks also to everyone who has reviewed so far, it really does mean a lot to me, and also to everyone who reads this._

_This is the penultimate chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed it (if that's the right word!) please feel free to drop me a review saying what you liked/ didn't like, reviews really do make my day!_

_x_


	10. Night

_EmmelineSpark, I'm genuinely sorry for how depressing this turned out..._

_Chapter 10 –Night_

"_For he could not love you  
>But still your love was true<br>And when no hope was left inside  
>On that starry, starry night<br>You took your life as lovers often do.  
>This world was never meant<br>For one as beautiful as you"  
>Vincent – Don McLean<em>

The battle raged around her, but she wasn't part of it, she wasn't filled with the same bloodlust and devotion as she had been years ago. She had played her part well so far, but she had no choice, she had to protect the child now.

She looked up at the stars, bright against the dark of the night's sky. She found her namesake easily; she had looked at it many times. It always reassured her with its consistency. She could rely on it, unlike so many other things. She had thought she could rely on the Dark Lord, but he had used her. She had thought she loved him, but he hadn't cared about her. Now he had led her into battle, but she could no longer rely on the cause she was fighting for.

She wished the Dark Lord loved her. Her life would not be a waste if her master really cared about her. She wished she could live happily with her child. She wished Rodolphus was still alive. But there was nothing left for her now but the baby. She would have to fight for it to survive. She would have to defend the cause she no longer believed in, for a master who didn't care about her.

With tears in her eyes, she took a last look at her namesake and entered the battle. She was the Dark Lord's right hand woman. She would be equal to him.

As the battle continued around her, she found herself remembering the past when she had been glad to fight alongside the Dark Lord.

She was duelling three witches; Hermione, Ginny and Luna. She didn't want to kill them, she had witnessed enough bloodshed. She just had to hold out for as long as she could.

She couldn't remember what she was fighting for anymore. She had to keep playing the game. She shot a killing curse just wide of one of the girls. She could kill them, but it seemed such a waste...

"Not my daughter, you bitch!" she spun round to see Molly Weasley emerging from the crowd and drawing her wand.

They began to duel. Molly was fighting for her children, but Bellatrix was fighting for the life of her child.

She didn't want to die. In all these years she had never considered death, but now it seemed so close...

She looked at the Dark Lord, would he even care if she died for him?

She felt the baby move in her stomach as she dodged a curse. She laughed; she had something worth living for, even if it had only been for a few brief months.

Molly's killing curse hit her directly in the chest. She screamed as she fell, she felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She would see Rodolphus again; she didn't have to fear the Dark Lord anymore.

As she fell she dimly heard the Dark Lord scream. He had cared about her, despite everything he had done to her. She was triumphant; she had beaten him at his own game. He hadn't found out about the child, she had won. But she was exhausted, she couldn't hold out any longer...

The baby. She could feel it dying inside her,

"I'm sorry." She whispered. It didn't seem enough. She had sacrificed not only her own life, but the life of her child for the Dark Lord, to beat him.

She fell to the ground; her eyes stared unseeing at the dark sky, at her namesake.

It was over.

The End

_Author's note: thank you to all of you for reading this; I'm sorry it turned out so depressing! _

_Thanks to Charli for beta-ing this chapter, Phyllis for paying me to write it and to Evelyn of the Witch Hunt for the plot advice._

_Thanks for all of the encouragement; I didn't think I could ever write this, so I'm grateful to all of you!_

_Please do feel free to drop me a review saying what you liked/didn't like about the story..._

_Signing off for the last time for now, but I will be back with another fic soon, hopefully. But for now, thank you and goodbye!_

_x_


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